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Cinephile Files: April 7, 2018 Film and TV Review Journal

Cinephile Files is my daily journal of every film, short film, TV episode, and web video I watched the previous day, along with my brief thoughts on each title that I watched. I love a wide variety of media including almost every genre, medium, and type of story including a lot of niche and lesser known content so expect the unexpected in these daily journals. If you enjoy these review journals and you are interested in watching a title I reviewed, buying or renting it via the included Amazon links is a great way to support this blog. It costs you nothing extra and a small portion of the proceeds goes to us to keep this blog running.

Have or know of a title you think I would enjoy watching (especially something similar to the titles I enjoyed today)? Feel free to leave a comment on this post or contact me. As I always have a lot of titles I’m planning on watching soon, I can’t guarantee it’s inclusion in these daily journals but as long as it intrigues me I will likely get around to reviewing it at some point (or will at least add it to my list of titles to get to eventually).

<- Yesterday’s Cinephile Files Post


The World’s Largest Jerry Maguire VHS Collection (2017 Web Video, 9 Minutes):

Part of VICE’s American Obsessions web series, this short YouTube video is about the video art collective Everything Is Terrible (run by Dimitri Simakis and Nic Maier) and their project to collect as many copies of Jerry Maguire on VHS as they possibly can. This video follows them as they use their 14,000 copies of the film (which took eight years and many donations to achieve) to open a replica of a video rental store in Los Angeles that only carries Jerry Maguire (which you can’t even rent or buy). This stunt was basically just an announcement party for their real goal, to build a gigantic Jerry Maguire Pyramid in the desert to house the collection (and yes, they appear to be serious about this since they even have a contractor).

There isn’t much to talk about with The World’s Largest Jerry Maguire VHS Collection but I wanted to pass it along just because of how odd and unique it is. Since the video is only nine minutes long, there isn’t time to get very in-depth into this project but there is plenty of footage of the Jerry Maguire Video Store and the video also goes a bit into the videos Everything Is Terrible makes for their YouTube channel (they cut up and re-arrange footage from old VHS tapes to make short comedic videos). While a subject like this would get boring if it were much longer, I do wish we could have seen more of their lives and especially their amazing non-Jerry Maguire VHS collection. Obviously this video isn’t for everybody but if you like to watch content about people with odd projects they are working on, it is worth a watch.

Rating: 3/5

Watch The World’s Largest Jerry Maguire VHS Collection: YouTube


The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (2004 TV Movie, Directed by Peter Winther, 105 Minutes):

As a fan of Warehouse 13, I really thought I would like the first Librarian film more than I actually did (since it was Warehouse 13 before Warehouse 13 even existed). I’m not sure why I was expecting a TV movie (with the lower budget that comes with it) to be great but I loved the story concept. Instead, The Librarian: Quest for the Spear is just an average TV movie, which, while slightly better than Syfy’s original movies, shares more in common with them than the movie I was hoping for.

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear features ER‘s Noah Wyle as Flynn Carsen, a man in his thirties who is still in college despite his age. He isn’t a terrible student that keeps getting held back, he just has a love of learning and over his studies has acquired 22 different degrees. At the beginning of the film, he is kicked out of college so he can get some real life experience. One day, he receives an invitation to interview for a librarian position at the Metropolitan Public Library. He wins the job but is surprised that instead of shelving books, he is the new caretaker of various historical and magical items (including the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, and Pandora’s Box). When one part of the Spear of Destiny is stolen from the library by the Serpent Brotherhood (a group that wants to use artifacts to control the world), Flynn must find the other two parts or the Brotherhood will control the destiny of the entire world (the power that the Spear has).

Even though I am still going to give The Librarian: Quest for the Spear an average rating, I do have a lot of negatives to talk about and not a lot of positives. The TV movie is watchable, it just could have been so much better if different choices were made. First of all, the film tries to be lighthearted and funny but it fails way more than it succeeds. There are some funny moments but you will roll your eyes more than you laugh. This is definitely meant to be a cheesier movie but even for a B-movie, the humor is pretty lame at times. One of the only truly funny moments in this film is getting to see Bob Newhart (of all people) kick some butt. The Librarian: Quest for the Spear also has some truly awful special effects at times. The movie is almost fifteen years old at this point so some special effects problems are acceptable but definitely not ones like the terrible parachuting effect they used.

However, the worst thing The Librarian: Quest for the Spear does is squander its amazing concept (something that Warehouse 13 would later improve on but not perfect). Considering the concept, there is an almost infinite amount of story possibilities. Why go with a story that could have been the plot of any other treasure hunting film that has ever been released? There is a bit of mysticism in the plot but not nearly enough. At the end they mention time traveling ninjas stealing H.G. Wells’ Time Machine, why couldn’t we have had that story instead? Pretty much any story with more fantasy and sci-fi elements would have been preferred.

Even though I have spent the last two paragraphs on the negatives of this film, I don’t think it was awful. I’m just disappointed that they didn’t do more with the concept. If I would have watched this before the better but still imperfect Warehouse 13, maybe my thoughts would have been different. However, The Librarian: Quest for the Spear is still watchable as long as you can ignore the occasionally horrific special effects.

Rating: 2.5/5

Watch The Librarian: Quest for the Spear: DVD, Amazon Video


Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. S5.E13 “Principia” (March 16, 2018 TV Episode, Directed by Brad Turner, 42 Minutes):

Obviously I am quite a few episodes behind on this series, mainly because I’m not that into this season or at least not even close to as much as I have been for the past three seasons. While it was nice that this episode closed an unfinished story from season one (the missing Gravitonium), the fact that it was only needed to patch up a rift was a bit disappointing. Since the episode was mainly about finding and bringing back some Gravitonium, it kind of made the episode a bit dull. Really the only highlights of the episode were the creativity of the flying boat, Deke annoying Fitz so much that he referred to him as “Scrappy-Doo,” and Mack’s S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy nickname prompting Coulson to the quip of the episode (“Hey Mackhammer, can’t touch this.”). This episode also sees the return of Werner von Strucker. Hmm, let me guess Hydra is coming back into the fold for the rest of this season. Bringing back the only von Strucker character in the Marvel Universe is not a very good way to hide what I’m guessing is coming in subsequent episodes. Overall, this is just another average episode in the most mediocre season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. since the first half of season one.

Rating: 3/5

Watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. S5.E13 “Principia”: Amazon Video


Today’s Stats:

  • Watch Time: 2:36
  • Total Titles Watched: 3
  • Films Watched: 1
  • Short Films Watched: 0
  • TV Episodes Watched: 1
  • Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched: 1
  • Total Stars: 8.5
  • Average Rating of Titles: 2.83

Monthly Stats:

  • April 2018 Watch Time: 0:05:16 (+02:36)
  • April 2018 Total Titles Watched: 6 (+3)
  • April 2018 Films Watched: 2 (+1)
  • April 2018 Short Films Watched: 2 (+0)
  • April 2018 TV Episodes Watched: 1 (+1)
  • April 2018 TV Seasons Completed: 0 (+0)
  • April 2018 Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched: 1 (+1)
  • April 2018 Total Stars: 19 (+8.5)
  • April 2018 Average Rating of Titles: 3.17 (-0.33)

Yearly Stats:

  • 2018 Watch Time: 0:05:16 (+02:36)
  • 2018 Total Titles Watched: 6 (+3)
  • 2018 Films Watched: 2 (+1)
  • 2018 Short Films Watched: 2 (+0)
  • 2018 TV Episodes Watched: 1 (+1)
  • 2018 TV Seasons Completed: 0 (+0)
  • 2018 Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched: 1 (+1)
  • 2018 Total Stars: 19 (+8.5)
  • 2018 Average Rating of Titles: 3.17 (-0.33)

All-Time Stats:

  • Total Days Recorded: 2 (Logging started on April 6, 2018)
  • Total Posts in This Series: 2
  • Total Watch Time: 0:05:16 (+02:36)
  • Average Watch Time Per Day: 02:38 (-00:02)
  • Total Titles Watched: 6 (+3)
  • Average Titles Watched Per Day: 3 (+0.00)
  • Total Films Watched: 2 (+1)
  • Average Films Watched Per Day: 1 (+0.00)
  • Total Short Films Watched: 2 (+0)
  • Average Short Films Watched Per Day: 1 (-1.00)
  • Total TV Episodes Watched: 1 (+1)
  • Average TV Episodes Watched Per Day: 0.5 (+0.50)
  • Total Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched: 1 (+1)
  • Average Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched Per Day: 0.5 (+0.50)
  • Total Stars: 19 (+8.5)
  • Total Average Rating of Titles: 3.17 (-0.33)

Daily Records:

  • Highest Watch Time in a Day: 02:40 (April 6, 2018)
  • Most Total Titles Watched in a Day: 3 (April 6, 2018)
  • Most Films Watched in a Day: 1 (April 6, 2018)
  • Most Short Films Watched in a Day: 2 (April 6, 2018)
  • Most TV Episodes Watched in a Day: 1 (April 7, 2018)
  • Most Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched in a Day: 1 (April 7, 2018)
  • Most Total Stars Given Out in a Day: 10.5 (April 6, 2018)
  • Highest Average Rating in a Day (Minimum of 3+ Titles): 3.5 (April 6, 2018)
  • Lowest Average Rating in a Day (Minimum of 3+ Titles): 2.83 (April 7, 2018)

Monthly Records:

  • Highest Watch Time in a Month: 0:05:16 (April 2018)
  • Most Total Titles Watched in a Month: 6 (April 2018)
  • Most Films Watched in a Month: 2 (April 2018)
  • Most Short Films Watched in a Month: 2 (April 2018)
  • Most TV Episodes Watched in a Month: 1 (April 2018)
  • Most TV Seasons Completed in a Month: 0 (TBA)
  • Most Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched in a Month: 1 (April 2018)
  • Most Total Stars Given Out in a Month: 19 (April 2018)
  • Highest Average Rating in a Month: 3.17 (April 2018)
  • Lowest Average Rating in a Month: 3.17 (April 2018)

Yearly Records:

  • Highest Watch Time in a Year: 0:05:16 (2018)
  • Most Total Titles Watched in a Year: 6 (2018)
  • Most Films Watched in a Year: 2 (2018)
  • Most Short Films Watched in a Year: 2 (2018)
  • Most TV Episodes Watched in a Year: 1 (2018)
  • Most TV Seasons Completed in a Year: 0 (2018)
  • Most Web Series Episodes and Videos Watched in a Year: 1 (2018)
  • Most Total Stars Given Out in a Year: 19 (2018)

All-Time Records:

  • Longest Film Ever Watched: Breathe (2017) (1:58, April 6, 2018)
  • Longest TV Episode Ever Watched: TBA “TBA” (00:00, TBA)

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